After a recent venture to see a “hardcore” band, I thought I’d give you a list of things to look out for next time you find yourself crushed against a bunch of sweaty headbangers.
- The awkward kids that don’t have to confidence to two-step, and look like little lost puppies tripping over themselves
- The idiots that two-step.
- The nobhead’s that keep bashing into you with their backpacks on.
- The shirtless moron who keeps getting his sweat on you.
- The girl that’s monumentally pissed.
- The Green Day fan with two belts on.
- The pussy who is happy to start a pit, but doesn’t like it when they’re pushed.
- The person who’s Dad is at the very front with them because he still hasn’t let go of 70s metal.
- The parents who have let go, but don’t want their child to be on their own. So they stand at the back all night wondering what they did wrong, and how they failed to raise their kid properly.
- The jackass who can’t wait to get home and take photos of their mosh pit injuries, then post them on tumblr.