The Year of Hibernation

I’ve gotta be honest, I never thought I’d feel like this. Being away from my friends really is affecting me this time around. Summer was incredible. July was perfect.

I’ve only been in Epsom for a month and already it’s taking its toll on me. There’s something about this place that I love, and I hate. Seeing all the people from university has been utterly wonderful. The conversations that’ve already taken place make me smile, and the friends I have down here are truly wonderful. Yet, at the back of my mind is something much darker.

I’m only human, and I will admit to taking things for granted. Playing guitar for a band that, at best, doesn’t really try is a great example. Since coming back down to the ‘Dirty South’, I’ve realised how much I miss my two best friends. The awful jokes, geeky conversations about video games and deadly amounts of alcohol are all part of being a musician, right..? I’m so proud of what we’ve achieved over the past year, and I cannot explain how grateful I am to every single person that’s helped me, sorry us, complete some of our goals in life. I’m not sure how I can re-pay you, and if I’m honest, I don’t think I can.

Being here has also brought back a lot of feelings and emotions that I’d rather forget. Lonely nights with just the music on my Itunes to keep me company are something that I think will forever haunt me. Certain events that happened towards the end of my first year have constantly been niggling at the back of my mind, and I’ve been a little apprehensive about being back in this town. The thought of these unhappy times returning have plagued me all summer and my fears have, to some extent, become a reality. I just wish I knew how to deal with this situation and be myself.

Once I do figure it out, I’m sure I’ll let you know. Until then, I’ll continue to enjoy the songs that make me happy, nights out with great friends, and thinking about Jewitt.

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